Since I've Been Gone

I find myself thinking from time to time about disappearing. Not the "poof" non-existent kind, but more the good old pack up and move to God knows where sort of leaving without anyone ever even knowing that you left. (I guess it could be counted into the former category though to those "tree falls in the forest" philosophers since no one would know, but that is beside the point.) So I've thought about it, and don't know where I'd go or what I'd do, but this is not really the main concern. The problem these days is the inability to actually disappear. Due to technology, it seems people can find you anywhere. You have a phone (or two or three), an email address (or two or three), a myspace/facebook/friendster, and who knows what else to track who/what/where you are. Case in point, this blog. Something links to something else, and someone will eventually find you. So I figure if I really wanted to go through with it, theoretically these are my options: A) Set aside a 24 hour period before said disappearance to cancel all associated technologies used as best as possible, B) Re-configure said technological connections to try and throw people off for a few months, or C) B then A, followed by moving to a deserted corner of the earth with no satellite service (which is either a handful of islands in the Pacific or the majority of the central United States). I'm thinking C may be my best choice, but the reality is that all of this is soapbox theory and actually disappearing isn't ever going to happen. Sigh. Until next time...

Race Across America (as promised)

As mentioned months ago, once again I'm doing an online radio show with my good buddy v-dos for Race Across America, a cross country bike race from sea to shining sea. I'm gone from the 12th until the 21st- until i get back, listen, watch, email, and basically check it out!

LINKS!!!

LIVE VIDEO FEED

RACE STANDINGS

ADD US TO YOUR MYSPACE :-D

and of course, shoot us emails with song requests and shout-outs along the way at teamviasat@yahoo.com

cheers!

First Real Pilot!

After busting my tail at interviews and auditions for the last few weeks, I am excited to announce that I have landed my first real (outside of TV8/LA36) pilot! I will be co-hosting a new home and garden show with an eco-centric "green" viewpoint as the resident gardener/interior decorator. This means remodeling with earth friendly, local, and recycled materials for TV. I am super stoked at this opportunity- the show is only in its pilot phase, and has not been picked up by a network, but will be pitched to something like HGTV/DIY/TLC in the next few weeks. I have to go to bed now, but I'll keep everyone posted- we're location scouting tomorrow and shooting the pilot/pitch this weekend. (Just goes to show that working non-stop eventually pays off... it's just funny to think that as a host, you're a professional auditioner and only talent after the first season, if not later than that. Haha.)

Alright, short and sweet but that's really all for now- I can't think straight enough at this hour to write coherently!

The Storm Before The Calm

I thought graduating was it. The tough part was over. Finals, papers, it was all done. But oh no, how easy that all was. The hard part is now.

I sit filling out applications, driving a hundred miles a day for different auditions, having people tell me they love me and I'm perfect for the job, and then... nothing. "What's Happening" is on hiatus (email the people over at LA36 and tell them you want it back please!) and aside from the odd modeling job I've got to find something else to do. A dozen applications a night, not going out for fun at all, and dealing with loan consolidations and working on free projects... it'll all pay off, right?

Don't get me wrong- I've got better leads than most people. I'm just scared shitless of the future. Freaking excited too, but scared. Don't know why I'm putting this all out there. I think maybe someday soon I'll look back and say, 'see, it was all okay'. But as of now, I have no idea... only hope. Wish me luck and let me know if you hear of any hosting jobs to keep my fish fed and my rent payed! :-)

The Epitomy of Irony

that's all.

Kicking Ass, Taking Names, and Other Ways of Networking in the Entertainment Industry

Before I really begin writing this article, I must preface it by saying that I don’t particularly enjoy talking about myself for the sake of talking. If it ever seems like I’m doing so I apologize in advance, but that is the nature of the assignment, and requiem for me to better inform you, the reader, of how I got to where I am at now. Also, if anything I have to say can in any way be helpful to just one of you on your journey in this industry, well then I suppose that fact somehow validates me writing this.

My journey begins at age thirteen as many peoples tend to. In less than a week, I moved from where I had lived all of my life to the middle of nowhere and began a full-time job waitressing at my parents’ new restaurant. There was no summer vacation that year, no trips to the coast or the city, no time for visiting old friends or making new ones. Just solid fourteen hour days of waitressing. Paid in food and the promise of new clothes for eighth grade, I worked my tail off, simultaneously trying to figure out a way to get the heck out of there. When school began, I involved myself in as many extracurricular activities as possible. More things to do may have meant less time that I had to work my real job, but it didn’t mean that I got out of it completely as I had kind of hoped. At this point in my life, I really didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up- I only knew that A) I never wanted to be a waitress ever again, and B) I needed to get out of that town as fast as I humanly could.

(see, it's not an ugly town... just small and far from anything and everything...)

I guess at some point in high school I decided I would be an actress. I was in every school play, and I loved pretending to be anything other than a waitress. I loved being in front of people, the awful butterflies I got when the curtains parted, the congratulations I got for something I did that wasn’t a salad or milkshake. I worked hard- I’m pretty sure that I had tunnel vision all through high school, and though I loved a lot of what I did, I was still really focused on getting out and really couldn’t wait. There was really no one else I can remember going to school with who wanted out of that small town worse than I did. I’d like to say I wasn’t trying to escape, but I know that’s a lie. I know now, looking back, that’s all that really kept me going- looking for something bigger, better. I felt like a huge fish in a tiny puddle- like a beta in Southern Asia waiting, praying that some fishmonger comes and scoops me up and that I get put in the pet store display ten gallon tank and not one of those flower vases. But I digress.

Summer after Senior year, I got just that. If I could have had a helicopter land on the field outside of the gymnasium where I graduated and fly me to California, I would have. But as it was, my family couldn’t afford a plane ticket to get me out to college, never mind a frivolous helicopter ride. Two months after graduation, we stuffed as many of my things as we could into my dad’s old Explorer and drove more than halfway across the country in two, nay, three days, lest I forget losing our radiator just west of Yuma, Arizona in a harrowing mountain pass. I spent a month in San Diego with extended family before school started, and I remember being more excited than I ever thought any person could be, biding my time until my first big USC School of Theatre audition, which I KNEW I would ace and get the lead and be amazing. Sure it was a bigger pond, but I was a big fish, right? I could take it.

School started, and auditions started shortly after, and I got… nothing. Every show, almost every student film, every anything I had heard about that first semester and auditioned for- nothing. (You have to understand that this was the entire first semester of college, and prior to that I had been in multiple plays at any given time of the year for the previous five or more years.) I say almost every student film because I think I ended up doing one or two of them for friends of friends who had actresses cancel on them the morning of, and well, it wasn’t like I was doing anything. Second semester I knew I’d be better. I was auditioning for the school musical. ‘This was it,’ I thought- ‘my thing, my element. I am so getting a part.’ I remember auditioning for a few other plays as well, you know, as “backup”. Well, I auditioned, and I checked callbacks, and once again, my name was nowhere to be found. I was at this point, more or less basically crushed, (though now I like to reminisce on it as a very humbling experience.) Rejection in college? Not even in the real world? ‘Maybe this isn’t the right career choice for me,’ I thought. I mean, I can handle rejection, but being told that you’re no good for an entire year and hardly doing any of what I loved- my art- wasn’t something I could really handle. I don’t do stasis so well- I really don’t do stasis at all. I was at a loss.

I wasn’t the only rejectee. A few of my friends were as well. We were all kind of bummed until one of them spoke up a day or two later. He said, “Hey guys, you know the TV station on campus is having auditions next week. We should go.” And I figured well why the hell not? It couldn’t hurt- I like watching TV- and I suppose it could be fun making it. So I went- I curled my hair up in rollers and put on eyeliner and lipstick and wore my purple suede skirt with my floral print cowboy boots. I was straight out of Texas and looked it, 100%.

After that first audition, I felt disheartened. How do you know if you’ve done something well when you’ve never really done it before at all? I waited, expecting the worst and hoping that at best, my audition tape would disappear forever. A week later I got a callback. It didn’t seem real after all of that rejection. I fumbled my way through another teleprompter read, and an interview with a fairly well known publicist, and several days later, I got the news- I was rejected. Again. It wasn’t so upsetting really- I mean, I was becoming a professional acceptor of rejection, but other than that… Another week went by and I was back at square one- nothing lost, nothing gained. And then I got a phone call. Apparently I had been chosen to host a different show- one that reviewed music videos. I’m not going to lie- I was really super excited. Looking back at doing this show, I was also really super awfully awkward and bad on TV for the first few months. I didn’t understand how to work with the camera and the unseen audience, didn’t read copy so well without appearing like I was reading a book, and basically created the strangest pauses to have ever been seen on a television within a half-hour program.

I realized that the only way I was going to understand what to do in front of the camera was to work behind it as well, so that summer I did- filming other hosts, noting what I liked and what I didn’t, and slowly but surely educating myself as to what TV seemed to be. During this period, I learned the most valuable thing I possibly could in college that was worth every penny of my overpriced education and helped me to get my foot in the door. As I began my work in television, I observed and processed the most important thing that I began to use to my advantage- the power of the show producer. And while I worked hosting the music video show, I continued to crew on other people’s shows and projects. And when the producer of the show I hosted graduated and there wasn’t anyone to pick up the slack that knew the program so well, I took over. I cast a new host, I called in the videos from record labels, I learned how to do it all.

The following year I was lucky enough to co-host with my boyfriend of the time on The Cutting Edge, a nightly student film review show. Though initially he didn’t want to host TV at all, he made the mistake of doing a fake audition and the producers liked him so much that they agreed with him that as long as he hosted, I could co-host to handle the formalities of being on camera that he felt were “cheesy”: introductions, segment bumpers, audience addresses, etc. During the semester that we hosted together, I was able to learn and grow in an environment that was conducive and comfortable. We shot in a film screening room that was dimly lit, as opposed to the harsh bright studio I initially started in, and conversed with our own words, not those being fed to us by an empty black box. I slowly but surely began to make friends with the camera, and although he graduated and the end of the year, the producers kept me on for another year and a half with two more co-hosts. I loved it and was really grateful for the experience, but something was still not complete. I felt like it was me on the camera, but it was not my work.

At this point in my television career I had learned how to write, host, produce, light, shoot, and edit, but had not done more than one or two of those things at a time. Somewhere in between all of this, that changed. Along the way, in between the first and second season of hosting The Cutting Edge, I picked up the position of Promotions Director at the TV station. (I still was not 100% sure what I wanted to do with my life, but it seemed like a nice creative backup should any other ideas fail.) This was great because it meant a lot of producing. It also meant a lot of involvement. The summer I got the job, my boss asked me to producer a “Back to School”/ “Welcome to LA” video for us to air during the first few weeks of classes. However, school was out and no one was really around to help with the video. In less than a week or two, I put together a script. After I had done that, I initially began going down the list of usual suspects for reliable talent that I had worked with at the station to host the video, but then it hit me: this was what I wanted to do- why was I just giving it away?

I must at this point state that almost anyone in any industry knows how hard it is to get work without having a body of it for your employer to look at. But as a TV host, when you are a producer, it is self-sabotage and foolish to not give yourself work when you may very well fit the bill. It wasn’t like my resume was huge, and I decided I really needed all the help I could get. The next week we shot the video with me hosting it, and a few weeks later I had edited it and it was on air. The whole project was done start to finish in a matter of less than a month, and with only two crew members: one producer/writer/host/editor, and one camera/crew. A semester later, the show went on to win a Telly award for excellence in advertising. It was at this point I realized that I really could leverage my weight and try to get what I wanted out of the TV station experience. Everyone I worked with was on a level playing field as far as experience, and I felt like I was headed down the home stretch. I had never felt so sure of anything in my life.

This past fall I was asked to begin producing a promotional series called, “What’s Happening L.A.?” for the campus station as well as local channel LA36. My boss suggested I should host it, and although I initially shied away from the idea, I more or less agreed with him on that within that first meeting, as did the manager of LA36. However, a co-worker decided to try and suggest otherwise. Though I find myself to be a fair producer, no one was going to take this opportunity away from me- I felt like I had worked hard to earn it- and so that person was removed from the crew and we continued to work towards making this happen with me hosting, at least for the first few episodes. If after that the manager didn’t like me as the on-camera talent, we would find someone else. (I am, to this day, still hosting the segment.) Welcome to Hollywood people- sometimes there are moments where you do have to push your weight around lest you be crushed or forgotten, and begging, borrowing, stealing, and firing people are all acceptable methods of getting ahead in this industry. I’ve been at this job for several months now and love the fast-paced nature of TV, the two day turnarounds, even twenty-four hour turnarounds. Getting a script the night before, shooting it the next morning, editing it that afternoon, and delivering the finished package that evening is my idea of a good time. The fact that my face is in over two million homes isn’t so bad for my resume either.

A few weeks ago were my first nerves since freshman year when I was once again, auditioning for a TV show at the station where I work. Although the show had been very good to me, I decided at the end of last semester to give up my security blanket that was The Cutting Edge and jump in a different direction: trying out for a new show. Cool, calm, and confident, I entered a studio full of my producer peers and auditioned. And even though I had been told by many that I already had the part as correspondent on the show that I wanted, there still was doubt in my mind, and a part of me waited to receive that rejection that I so often had experienced so many times before. (Needless to say, I did get the part, but I think it was only through a combination of experience and networking that I beat out anyone younger or fresher- talent has something to do with it as well, but for producers, comfort and following can sometimes trump even that.)

(and yes, that is me with the Reno 911 cops on the red carpet- follow your dreams people!!! don't ever give up- it can be done!!!)

No one enjoys being rejected. And yet, at one point or another in almost everyone’s life, it seems to happen. Not only that, but it usually ends up a good thing- a defining moment on their timeline, even a catalyst if you will. Spielberg was told no multiple times by the USC School of Cinema, Ron Pompeil was told that he wouldn’t amount to anything by his father, and Jewel continued to sing and play her guitar despite multiple no’s from record labels. And I was told no every semester I auditioned (albeit only four or so) by the School of Theatre. That’s really where it all began. Those who can, do, and those who can’t, keep busting down doors until they figure out what the hell they might be good at and where they might fit into this industry (although a lucky break or someone taking a chance on you doesn’t hurt either.) Entertainment is a bitch- thousands if not millions at some point try or at least want to do it, move in pursuit of a dream, give up or grow old or die trying. Only a few dozen ever actually make it. What possesses us? And is there really any artistic merit in some of it? Though many argue that TV isn’t art, I wonder what leads them to draw this conclusion. For me, art is not tangible- it is something, yes, that may be viewed and enjoyed by an audience, but what about its sake for the artist? This is where I see that the true meaning of art lies: not in the eyes and ears of the viewers, but in the minds and hearts of the creators. For whoever makes something out of love and not necessity is an artist- they have a passion and a fire burning within them enough to create something seemingly unnecessary and even arbitrary and prove to the world that it is, in fact, something they wandered how they ever lived without.

Two Loves Unite!

No, no one got married, but it is a breath of fresh air to see both Elle and Vanity Fair's "green" issues on newsstands this month. People are finally learning! (It only took two plus decades of ignoring the "hippies" telling them all of these things for years of course!) Anywho, for anyone who knows me you know that I have multiple hobbies/obsessions/loves. As of recently, two have combined for the better- ocean conservation and cosmetics- and I could never be more pleased. (Though I realize I've written a cosmetics blog already here, this one is a little different, so I'll proceed.)

Ever since I started I saltwater aquarium and the additional research that goes with it, I have been distraught as to the lack of awareness that our world seems to have for oceanic pollution (and ultimately destruction.) There have been articles in the last six months that have only made this worry and anger worse, some instances preventable and some not: the earthquake in the Phillipines that pushed many of their islands up and left much of their reefs exposed, the destruction of a lot of reefs around South America and the Carribean for construction purposes, and the ongoing cancer-like infestations of Crown of Thorn starfish who eat reefs faster than they can be created (and whose predators are at devastatingly minuscule numbers due to overfishing in the south Pacific.)

There are people trying to counteract this in the public sphere. This is where my love of reef-keeping and makeup combine. Chantecaille Cosmetics and jeweler Jay Strongwater have teamed up to design a series of limited edition enamel compacts for the cosmetic company's Coral highlighting powder. The LE compact will set you back a whopping $400+ at Neimans or Bergdorfs, but people can also do their makeup and make a difference without seriously breaking the bank- the regular highlighting powder is around $70. (Hey, I said seriously.) 5% of the retail proceeds go to Reefs of Hope, a University of Miami-based project that is working toward reviving underwater ecosystems that have been devastated by global warming, pollution, and overfishing. Go to www.elle.com this month for more great green ideas.

Am I A Lameboat? (This Soapbox Floats Away...)

Every Thursday night it's the same thing: me, a bottle of champagne, a bucket of chicken, and 70s TV shows on DVD. While everyone else is out partying, I'm at home on my couch watching something that was made over thirty years ago because frankly, there's nothing better on. The fact that I only enjoy the occasional party and not a weekly ritual aside, this pattern potentially indicates two things: one, that I really love chicken and champagne, and two, that good old fashioned entertaining TV is no longer being made. I mean, I'm from a technologically inclined generation, and I'm enjoying something with zero special effects and a laugh track! (Lucky for me Season 4 of Mary Tyler Moore is coming in the mail next week or I'd be on my sofa watching whatever crap is on these days.)

Whenever celebrities or other people who work in entertainment are interviewed on what they do for fun, a lot of times they say they just like to stay home, wear sweatpants, and watch TV. Well, the more I get deeper into this industry, the more I find this to be completely true. When you work non-stop, the last thing on your mind is doing anything that requires you to exert any amount of energy. This is the quintessential definition of couch potato. That's all I ever want be anymore when I'm not working! Does this mean I'm lame? That I've given up on some sort of potential that I may inherently possess to go out, get piss-drunk, and come home with a fistful of phone numbers? I sure hope not.

As I sit here, blogging and watching the last episode of season 3, I have no problem with what I'm doing every Thursday. (I mean, I must not, or I wouldn't be doing it.) I do still have a problem with bad TV, but when I figure out how to fix that, I'll let you know. And maybe one day, I'll go out and do something different. But why not be content with being content for now? Even if I am a lameboat, at least I'm still sailing... hahaha. ehhhhhhh.

But wait! Coming round the bend is Los Angeles, LA's gaining, through the turn, LA ahead by a nose...

Though Los Angeles fashion week has come and gone, it still is on my mind because A) I'm not finished with my revision of my blasted paper criticizing Angelino fashion as an art form and B) I just finished editing the video footage for this week's episode of Take 5. (*shameless plug alert!* watch it at: www.trojanvision.com new episodes every Friday at 8pm pst.) Those thoughts aside, there is one show from this year's fall collection that sticks out as a horse of a different color in the world of runways. It's kind of like my idea for fat kid trick-or-treating: instead of the children dressing up and going door-to-door gathering goodies, instead they sit in their driveways while people drive mobile homes down their streets throwing candy at them like in a parade.

What does any of this have to do with anything, especially fashion? Well, this show did a take on art gallery style showing instead of your traditional style. No, this time, Rami Kashou's models did not walk down the catwalk to heart-pumping, head-pounding dance trance remixes while everyone sat in darkness oohing and aahing. This time, the models filed down the runway, spacing evenly, and stood there, stoic, posing, graceful, mannequinesque. The music was replaced by a string quartet, filling the art space with warm melodic background ambience, and the spectators filed in as well, murmuring about each dress as if they were works of art all by one painter. Which they basically were.

LA fashion week definitely did have its usual rock-and-roll vibe, but there were several select shows such as Kashou's that dared to be different, and in doing so, shined brighter than all the rest. This by far was one of the best, most stylized presentations that I saw, and could easily compete with any couture wear coming out of New York, Milan, or Paris. And just so you don't have to scour the internet to see what I'm talking about, here are some snapshots for your viewing pleasure:

Introduction to Industry Basics, 101

I think sometimes I take it for granted that I've had excellent entertainment industry resources at my fingertips for the last four years. It is just as well that I often fail to remember that not everyone is aware of these things. Tonight I've decided to share a valuable database that I'm sure everyone knows of (or at least has heard of). Variety is an invaluable trade paper among the film and television circle- it is the water cooler talk and the quick off-the-cuff fact standing between a PA and their promotion. So it should come as no surprise that variety.com is almost as useful as (if not sometimes more than the magazine.

Possibly the most influential editorial voice in Hollywood, Variety has been going strong for over a century and its opinion spans from one coast to the other. Started in New York during the age of vaudeville, the company now features the broad-spectrumed Variety Magazine and L.A.'s Daily Variety in addition to the original Variety Gotham. A good majority of industry slang can be attributed to this publication; from phrases like "box office biz" to "sitcom" and "sex appeal", you can bet it was printed here first. As far as content goes, it covers the gamut of interests, from live theater to television and every film that anyone is working on. It is the highest profile spot for publicists to put their "please consider" ads for award season, and the first place that important information will be printed for the rest of the trade to see.

But, you may ask, if I read the paper, then why is the website so darn useful? Well, aside from the aforementioned facts, it's pretty much free. You can get your industry news in the comfort of your underwear, drinking your coffee and checking emails. Not only that, but the website is designed schematically like the magazine, making it an easy transition for old school subscribers. (And if you just have to turn the pages, there is the online PDF version for your ultimate enjoyment.) Then there are the extra perks you just can't get from real print: the great website links to other TV/film related sites, the frequent updates and features that are more often than once weekly, Variety Careers, the sister site that doesn't allow you to give up hope and get a desk job just yet, and V Plus, a section featuring all of the stuff that couldn't possibly be jammed into the fifty plus pages of already undersized print. If you're just curious and need a fun and informative place to start or can't figure out all the jargon, check out their slanguage dictionary. The website, much like the magazine, is a no-BS layout: simple, chic, and extremely functional. Everything is organized and tabbed, with small files and pages that won't crash even the oldest of IMacs*. But why believe what I say? Check it out for yourselves:



(*IMac claim made for humor value or the lack thereof and not guaranteed by author of article.)

It's alright, I'm not MiA...

...I've just been too busy to focus, nevermind blog anything! Over a month has come and gone, and so much has happened in that time. Red carpet premieres, one on one Q & A's with writers/actors/directors, another handful of WHLA?'s, a short stint of free time bouldering in the mountains without cell/internet/etc. for spring break, and now, LA fashion week. It's crazy to actually be at fashion week. When I was a little kid, I used to sit glued to the TV for any and all of the fashion shows that I could catch on E!. (I was also very deft with the remote, changing the channel to Disney if my mom walked through the room- I was six or seven and not allowed to watch underweight girls in skimpy apparel- I think she feared an image complex or something.) I would watch, and draw, and dream. Never ever ever did I actually imagine that one day I would be at these shows, flagging down celebs on the red carpet, chatting it up with other media outlets, and then watching, second row from the runway, jam packed gift bag in one hand and free drink in the other, five seats away from every socialite in LA and wondering how I got there. Never! But it's been amazing, and we've only done one day so far. I've gotten to talk to/interview people I've watched in the spotlight for years: (sorry to date them, but to name just a few) Robert Verdi, Tara Reid, Janice Dickinson, Elisha Cuthbert, Jenna Jameson, a good handful of successful designers including Christian Audigier (Ed Hardy), and of course, Paris Hilton (who I also got to see walk the runway- I've watched her do this, the first thing she was famous for and what she was best at, since she was 12.) Why am I recapping? Because I thought it would be fun... and because sitting here writing this it still seems unbelievable. It's not like I'm starstruck- I don't really get that way when I'm working- but when you actually take a second to breathe and think about it it's like, holy #&*@, I've got the coolest f'ing job in the world. Back to the grindstone- this week'll be a busy one. Now to just finish these last months of school... argh.

MeTube

I have kinda figured out how to use YouTube. I still haven't figured out how to do 2 pass encoding for wmv files so they don't look like poo, but until I can do that, here's what I've been up to in a lower res version- you'll still get the idea.





You can also find all of the previous promos for this same series at YouTube, as well as the current ones airing on Trojan Vision (USC TV8) and LA36. I'm also in talks with Metro TV to get them airing on the transit buses, but hopefully I'll still be able to update weekly online too. Until next time... ;-)

Earth Friendly Entertainment

Okay, so this really is a stretch connecting what I'm about to say to the entertainment industry. (In fact, the only way that it really connects is because celebrities had a hand in designing what I'm talking about.) But I am such a big environmentalist that I had to post something about it. You cannot even begin to believe how proud/overjoyed/ecstatic I was to receive an email this morning saying that Sephora stores are now offering cosmetic products that not only are free of the harsh chemicals that every other soap/lipstick/hairspray contains, but a lot of the packaging is made of renewable corn-derived polymers that are recyclable too! After browsing their selection of items in an additional window, I found the best thing I have seen for sale in a long time. CARGO, a makeup brand I have been a fan of for several years, is now offering 5 different (and seemingly very flattering) shades of lipstick that 1) come in recyclable corn bio-plastic tubes (which, by the way, are greenhouse-gas neutral to create) and 2) are packaged in recycled flower paper boxes, which can be planted and will grow into wildflowers. In addition, two dollars from every lipstick sale is donated to CARGO's charity of choice, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. I have a feeling that this is only the beginning, and am very proud of Sephora, CARGO, and the other beauty lines that are finally beginning to see a need for change and are starting to make a difference by using recyclable and non-animal derived ingredients. For more information, click the link below:

Out of Sorts...

A young sorority version of Liza Minelli sits across from me at lunch
shouting pop phrases at the top of her lungs
showing the world that she knows her craze culture
and making them feel bad cause they watch E! too
gazing through crack glazed eyes covered by bangs
tinted Ebony 7- Vogue color of the month
declaring her love for designers, and worse- middle aged boyfriends
not even old enough to drink, but loud enough to convince otherwise
if she was a man, she'd be a sports anchor on tv
this Liza Minelli girl
and i eat my soup and wonder to myself
am i too quiet for this industry, or just too real?




I'd like to post script that with saying that I'm not a big poetry-as-thought person, but I've been dealing with a bit of self-doubt lately. This same girl sat for an hour at lunch with other sorority girl types hanging on her words, listening to stories of Jared Leto and Hollywood parties, and the Versace jacket that she spoke loudly of on the phone to the person who's house she had left it at. It sounds mean, and I know it is to think it, but it's people like this in the industry that I hope will never make it. I cross my fingers, knowing they've never worked a day in their life, and hope that there is some justice in the world.

It's just hard, in this city, to ever know where you stand. I've got it better than a lot, I know- an apartment, a job, friends. There are just moments in between where you see how other people are and step back. You know you don't want to be that way- jaded, or unappreciative, or bitchy.

It's also getting a little harder now that I've started more fit modeling. The work is good, and the pay is good, but sometimes the other models are just so unreal. In the meantime, if you see me around and I look like a zombie, keep in mind that I generally work no less than 8 hours per day and adding another job is quite taxing... but hey, when your rent is due, the landlord won't exactly take a cute smile, three hundred dollars, and an IOU. Until next time...

Ok, Ok...

So the band Ok Go is nothing new to anyone who hasn't been living under a rock within the last year, but I really have to give credit where credit is due. What am I talking about? The dawning of a new era, man. I guess in essence, I am blaming them for killing the video star, but also, for helping to create (or rather, falling into, but I'll explain that in a second) a new movement where people post home movies (that never would have otherwise made it to the public sphere) all over the internet. That's right-- I'm talking about YouTube.

For many months I have thought that the guys in this band were freaking genius. It was only after reading a magazine article this past weekend that I found out they "didn't actually post" the first video, and that it was actually "a rehearsal tape that got leaked". Whatever the real story is, I still think that they were ultimately in the right place at the right time, for somehow, their video coincided with the "birth" of YouTube (or at least to the news outlets who are often a little behind). This, in turn, catapulted the little baby indie band whom most people had
never even heard of into instant success, and soon they were on talkshows and readio stations around the country and world. (Case in point? I'm posting their YouTube videos as I write this!)

Now everyone and his brother is creating video content for YouTube. Music videos, time lapses, animation-- you name it, it's there. People create their own TV stations and subscribe to each other's! Never before has an individual been able to essentially have their own cable channel FOR FREE and express themselves so freely as well. It is so much more than "just another online community": it is history making itself right before our eyes. It is what the public domain was supposed to be before the buyout by corporations. It is those same TV networks, large and small, rushing to add extra video content for their audience before the viewers get bored and want to do it themselves. And ultimately, it is global artistic interaction, the likes of which we have NEVER seen before.

Ok Go claims that they're not marketing geniuses. I beg to differ. For how many prodigies has the world seen over the years who say they're nothing special? I rest my case. :-)

Oh, and in case you really have been living under a rock, here are the videos. Crank your volume and enjoy.

"It's not egotism... It's self publicity."

Life Right on Cue

Lately I've begun fearing the loss of animosity that comes with being famous more and more. I know I may seem a step ahead of myself, but really, am I? In L.A., though for one it can often take years to even scratch your name in the surface, for some it's just "poof!" and it happens. I think that I fear the latter more, for there's no build-up, no time to prepare. Your whole world is flipped on its end for all the world to see (literally, often in the form of NSFW photos on the internet) and life as you know it will never be the same.

Hypothetically you may ask as you read this, 'Why now? What made you finally actually think this through?' Last night I was out with some friends playing pool. I must admit, I'm pretty awful at playing pool and with a few drinks in me even worse, but never the less, decided that I had to do it against one of my friends who was a pretty decent shot at that. I spent the next twenty minutes aiming, missing, and pouting, but never giving up. Soon, one of the regulars was helping me line up my shots, trying to make my loss less obvious (if only not at all), and when a ball finally went into a pocket, the bystanders behind me (that I had been politely asking to move one way or the other all evening lest they be accidentally prodded with a cue) cheered wildly and high fived me. The crowd grew, and even though I ended up losing miserably, with three or four balls still on the table, I won in their eyes, and they "Way to go!"ed me and high fived me none the less. I felt like "America's Sweetheart" or something, and it was at that very second that I realized- I never want to be famous. For if I was famous, I could have never done any of that and been as important for all the same reasons.

People's opinions of a person change based on what they hear. The more public you are, the more fictional statements about you may be yes, but never the less people still to some degree believe them. Even worse, they love the fact that you're "normal"- even more accident and mistake prone than they are. And maybe that's why all those people cheered for me at pool- because I was really bad. But you know what? I don't care, because in that instance, I felt really good and was somebody- I was their Rocky, an underdog story- and for the first time in my life I felt acknowledged for just that- who I kind of am- and now who I was or am trying to be. I will continue to work hard, to "Kick Ass and Take Names" in this in industry, but the question will still linger- can one be successful in this industry without the notoriety that comes with it? Stay tuned to find out...

Cavegirl Discovers Technology...

I am slowly but surely figuring out this posting with html thing again... back in middle and early high school I was really into it, but over the last few years I've gotten a little rusty. Anywho, check out my new links to video on the right of your screen. (Note: You'll need Windows Media Player for these.)

Oh and if for some reason you just have lots of free time, even more can be found at:

Enjoy!

A Reel Post

A lot of people like to call me an idealist. I don't think they mean it in the nicest sense- in fact, I'm pretty sure they mean it in the most you-are-hallucinating-your-face-off-girl sense you can think of. No seriously, get this- I am told day in, day out, that jobs like I want don't exist. Moreover, jobs like I want CAN'T exist. But I don't believe that's true. Allow me to introduce myself. By professional terms, I am a television host- an "on camera personality", if you will. By my terms, I am a writer, producer, even editor as well. By industry terms, this combination doesn't happen. You can be the brains behind the operation. You can be the face in front of it. But you can't be both. Especially if you're a woman heading up the work. But who says so, I ask? Barbara Walters seems to be doing a fine and dandy job- on the other end of the spectrum, Heidi Klum has executive producer credits for multiple shows and has only been in TV as long as I have! So here I am now, chugging along, waiting for someone to realize they've really got a package deal here and maybe they want to pay me more than $8 an hour for it too.
This semester there are 3 projects that I am really focused on. The first is a continuation from last semester called "What's Happening L.A.?", a weekly promotional spot that I do for Trojan Vision Television (USC's TV8) in conjunction with local channel LA36 highlighting what's going on in and around Los Angeles. Hopefully some of those will be posted to the internet soon so you can check them out, and the shooting schedule will be worked out so that I'm not writing, shooting, and editing all in one day (although there is a real sense of accomplishment knowing you can put together a package like that almost by yourself in less than 8 hours).
The second project is for Trojan Vision as well, as fashion correspondent for a Hollywood News show called "Take 5". We'll be wandering the red carpets in search of the good, the bad, and the ugly, and hopefully visiting some of the local LA designers that I have become friends with over the last few years.
And finally, I am editing a documentary style video for a bike race I covered this summer with one of my friends called "Race Across America", which should air on TV8, LA36, OSTN, and the Research Channel by the end of the semester. The race itself was over 2,000 miles, from Oceanside, CA to Atlantic City, NJ, and was quite a trip at 20 mph behind bikes. The link to the album is here:

Race Across America

I also have other documentary projects in the works, and as usual, am still heading up the promotions department for all of the shows on TV8 and for the station itself. Looks like it'll be a busy semester, but I love it, and will try to keep you posted!

-V

And so it begins...

What? Did you miss it? Did you blink? Well shame on you for doing such a foolish thing. It's over and it can't be done again. (But you can stay for the duration of the program if you'd like.)